Thank you, Frank & Theresa Poff!

It was three years ago tomorrow.  Frank & Theresa Poff gave me a precious gift for which I can never adequately describe my appreciation. But I will try...  Because of this special couple, I have something I will never forget....a unique & wonderful Valentine memory with Jim.

It was February, 2009, 26 months after we lost Jake.  The fog was beginning to lift a little. We had each started the year acknowledging the unhealthy state we had both reached.  So we were ready. Jim adopted the South Beach Diet. I began my tried-&-true method. Of course he loses 20 pounds, seemingly overnight, the way guys just seem to do by skipping breakfast sometimes.  I had finally reached 10 pounds, with a lot left, but it was a healthy start. Things were looking up. Claire & Sarah were doing well in school & Jaxson was the light of our existance.

Even before the loss of his son, Valentines was never a huge deal for me.  Always too crowded to go out. Our routine had gone something along these lines...

Year 1: Don't send roses, Jim. They are too expensive.  Jim sent red roses.
Year 2: Don't send roses, Jim. They are too expensive. They die too quickly. Send fresh cut flowers. Jim sent red roses.
Year 3 Don't send roses, Jim. They are too expensive. They die too quickly. Send fresh cut flowers. I really like them better.  Jim sent red roses...BUT... the card said, "because  I like roses!  Well, ok..case closed.

But, 2009 was different.  I don't remember if there were flowers. I don't think so. A few days before, he told me Frank had invited us to see the Gatlin Brothers at the Perot.  Jim seemed excited, which didn't make sense to me, since he had made fun of me when I went with Becky & Garrett Steele a few years before.  After he assured me he really wanted to go, I agreed. We were to go to dinner  before the show. I balked and reminded him we would NEVER get into a restaurant & we would miss the show. Jim's words?  "You don't understand. Frank KNOWS people.  We will get in!" (while we were eating dinner at their SECOND choice, Frank confirmed, "I do know people. We made it to the top of the cancellation list! But....no one cancelled!")

Jim came in from court that day with a beautiful Fossil bracelet watch for me.  I loved it, and was completely surprised, since we did not exchange gifts at Valentines  and I had nothing for him. The face of the watch was huge.  I have to credit Frances Haynes and Providence, as well as Jim, for that beautiful gift. There was no way to know at that moment that 48 days later, that watch would become my lifeline when I moved into the  ICU family waiting room and began living from one 12-hour shift to the next for 30 days.  I could see the hands without glasses. But that night, we were 10 days away from the first time 'cancer' was mentioned, and enjoying the evening. I put on my new beautiful watch for the concert.

Dinner was delicious, and the company was incredible, as  anyone who knows Frank & Theresa can attest. Our tickets were front row and center. I was excited.  Then I realized..... I was the only one of the four who could name even one Gatlin Brothers' song.  Even Jim, who had ridiculed me years earlier about the group, had no clue.  I remember exclaiming something to the effect, "We are sitting front row and center and you guys cannot even mouth the words to one song?! Oh dear! We are the ones they will see!" I had always loved the Gatlins, and I knew the words to ALL the songs, so I instructed them to follow my lead.  "Ok, I will lip synch & move enough for all of us. We can do this."   And we did.  It was a great show. Because of their ages and the strain their style of singing places on the vocal chords, they have a lot of cutesy 'filler' time in the act, but it was fun.  And we were invited to stay and meet the band after the show.  Front row center does have its advantages.  We stayed and got our picture taken with Larry.  That picture was published in Four States Living and was on the newstands when I came home from the hospital after losing Jim.  It was tough to see, but I am so grateful for it now.

I searched for an appropriate Gatlin song to share here.  There are so many that showcase their beautiful harmony that I've loved so long. I selected one of my all time favorites.  It is a tough one, but achingly beautiful.

"And how will we live now....you tell me...
with parts of our hearts torn away?
Just existing makes dying look easy.
But maybe tomorrow....I've done enough dying today.."

I have always loved this one.  Before I moved to the address in time where "existing makes dying look easy", I always thought of it as just a sad song. But now, after I had to "learn sleeping all over", I feel the hopefulness inside the soul of the song. 

So tomorrow, I will head to T-town with a Gatlin CD to keep Dusty & me company during the ride.  I will deliver valentines to my most precious little men and stop by the cemetery. Yes, of course, there will be red roses...

Frank & Theresa, I love you guys for many reasons. I am so grateful your beautiful marriage is a part of my treasured memory. Happy Valentines Day and thank you from every chamber of my heart.